so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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