Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
