What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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