____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
