Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
