Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
