Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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