Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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