Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
