i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He? As in you personified your dick?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
