We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
its not stalking. its research.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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