It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
