I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
