this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
