It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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