it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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