Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
