you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
