You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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