rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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