he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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