i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
