I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
