Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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