Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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