You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
