Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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