Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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