I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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