I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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