Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
