It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
