Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
