the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
