I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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