Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
