she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
