Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
