i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
