remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
