it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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