he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Alive.
So much puke
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
