This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
