dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
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