When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
