Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
