What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
