i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
