I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
