Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Randomize
