I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
