I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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