no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
